Arsenal are top, and Manchester United have clambered out of the basement. Yes, it can only be the latest all-important mood rankings.
It’s only been a single month since we last recorded the mood across the Premier League, but an awful lot has changed. Oh dear, West Ham. Oh dear.
20) Everton (19)
Turns out they’re only any good when fuelled by the righteous and powerful energy of a Premier League points deduction. The paradox being that once the penalty has been worked off and the anger subsides, so too does the level of performance. After those four straight rip-roaring wins to wipe out the 10-point penalty and more, and at which point we all declared them safe from relegation, they’ve managed only three further points from seven matches.
To be entirely clear here: in the last seven matches they have taken a net one more point than they managed in a four-game run where they started on -10. You can’t just pick up points when you’re doing it to spite the league, lads. It is quite literally unsustainable.
19) West Ham (5)
A dramatic and precipitous fall for a team that now once again needs Europe to ride to the rescue for their season. At the time of the last update – which really was only a month ago – they were in the top six and had both Villa and Spurs in their sights. In four games since then they’ve picked up only draws against Sheffield United and Bournemouth and been slapped silly by Manchester United and especially Arsenal.
David Moyes’ future is once again in doubt and the Hammers also made a bit of a mess of the last knockings of the transfer window. Kalvin Phillips on loan looked like a no-brainer, but while some degree of rust was inevitable it’s alarming just how far off the pace he has looked.
The overall picture remains fine – eighth and level on points with Newcastle would have been perfectly satisfactory at the start of the season – but the direction of travel has to be a worry. The Hammers have a kind enough upcoming run of games but right now look far more likely to meander back into mid-table behind your Brightons and your Chelseas than to reel in any of the seven sides above them.
READ MORE: Liverpool and Man United favourites head contenders to replace David Moyes at West Ham
18) Crystal Palace (15)
Currently locked in a dispiriting spiral where results are in general awful but a win turns up just often enough to stop them sacking Roy Hodgson and finally moving on with their lives. Beat Sheffield United in their final game of January. Have then been thrashed by Brighton and tossed the points away against Chelsea. But they’ve got Burnley at home in a couple of weeks, which they’ll no doubt win to keep the whole thing in grim stasis. We’re also earmarking further home wins against Luton on March 9 and West Ham on April 20 to get them through to the end of a wasted season in 16th with absolute nothing learned or gained from the entire enterprise.
Fans are also hacked off more generally with the club’s direction; it’s all just a bit miserable really as Glad All Over sinks ever further into painful irony.
17) Nottingham Forest (18)
“Results have picked up nicely” we said a month ago on the impact of new manager Nuno Espirito Santo. Already looking ominously like a dead cat bounce given that the only win since has been on penalties against Championship side Bristol City after a pair of FA Cup draws.
And the prospect of a points penalty still looms over a club that may very well not need any such help getting itself firmly into a relegation pickle anyway thank you very much. On the face of it, a narrow home defeat to Newcastle doesn’t look too bad but it was quite alarmingly thick and also distinctly avoidable. Much like the wider mess the club finds itself in. May survive this season due to the sheer incompetence of two of the promoted sides, but with the likeliest teams to be promoted currently being Leicester, Leeds and Southampton that may not be something Forest can rely on next term.
16) Sheffield United (17)
More points than Derby County in their infamous 2007/08 season, you’ll never sing that. (If you’re Derby County in their infamous 2007/08 season.)
15) Burnley (16)
It just really, really, really shouldn’t be as bad as this. They’ve largely abandoned the principles on which they were promoted, it’s hard a negligible impact on results and it’s now extraordinarily hard to see how precisely they’re going to stay up without both Everton and Nottingham Forest getting a(nother) kick in the points.
Now level on points at the bottom with Sheffield United, who are the only team to score fewer goals than Burnley and the only team to concede more. It’s been a naff effort from a team and young manager who looked so impressive in their promotion campaign. Yes, the Premier League was always going to be a different and difficult challenge, but nobody could have foreseen them being quite this ill-equipped for it.
14) Manchester United (20)
Have turned a corner and, crucially, not immediately found themselves down another cul-de-sac. Rasmus Hojlund has found his feet nicely, the shape of the team looks far better now, Harry Maguire’s comeback arc is complete and even talk of an unlikely tilt at the Champions League places no longer seems entirely far-fetched.
The risk here, though, is the one espoused in the Mailbox this week that United have simply found themselves back in the familiar Ole Zone and that really that might be just where rival fans want them: results good enough that Ten Hag isn’t going to get sacked and with it the chance for material change in the summer, but not so good that they once again become a genuine threat to the very best. They still do appear to be on even the most optimistic of readings the fifth best team in the league and that’s still not really going to cut it over an extended period of time.
But we can’t simply be stubborn here. A month ago they were dead last in the moods having lost to Nottingham Forest and been wholly unconvincing in a home draw with a Spurs side missing almost all its key attacking players. They’ve won four out of four since then and not even we can pretend they’re still the division’s grumpiest Guses now.
13) Bournemouth (6)
There’s been a perhaps inevitable reversion to the mean from Andoni Iraola’s side after that wild run of 19 points in seven games. Nothing is f***ed, but there is a slight danger of early-season errors being repeated, where warning signs that were there in defeats to the likes of Liverpool and Spurs were ignored because it was Liverpool and Spurs. Those defeats this time around either side of the winter break have been followed by taking just two points from three games against West Ham, Forest and Fulham.
Unlikely to find themselves back in any real relegation danger which, coupled with the potential unlocked in that crazy November-December run of results and a home draw against lower-league opposition in the FA Cup fifth round, makes for a rosy overall picture. But it’s reasonable to have some reservations at this stage of the season about a team that has accrued over two-thirds of its points and six of its seven wins during one lightning-bottling seven-game streak.
12) Chelsea (12)
Tentative signs of encouragement in the last couple of games and potential remains for Mauricio Pochettino to do something very funny indeed by instantly winning one of the two domestic cups in a doomed Chelsea reign having never really bothered with them at Spurs. The trouble with the promising signs showed against Villa in the FA Cup and the second half at Crystal Palace is that it’s hard to take them too seriously when we’ve been here so often before. The fact the 4-1 at Spurs and 4-4 against City were followed by a 4-1 thrashing at Newcastle is hard to shake, as is the 3-2 win over Brighton being immediately followed by tame defeats at Manchester United and Everton.
And while it’s fair to say things are looking up a bit, it’s also still only 10 days since they lost 4-2 at home to Wolves and only two weeks since they got thrashed at Anfield. And their warm-up for the Carabao final is a nice gentle one at the Etihad.
11) Fulham (11)
Currently rivalling Wolves for the coveted title of Most Mid-Table Team In All Of Barclays, which is an absolutely fine place for Fulham to be in both the real table and also this one. Bumped up a couple of places here for being simply more interesting than usual thanks to doing things like chucking in back-to-back 5-0 wins in the space of four days to go with the more typical mid-tabling like coming from behind to beat Arsenal while taking one point from two games against Burnley. You know, that kind of thing.
10) Newcastle (13)
Bit more like it, isn’t it? Got bad enough for long enough there that we all just kind of forgot that at the start of the season it was all “Big Seven now! Or probably a new Big Six without Spurs in it!” Haven’t been able to spend all their lovely money in anything like the quantity the fans hoped and expected, which has irritated them, but on the flipside has put them back into a position whereby seven points from games against Villa, Luton and Forest plus an FA Cup win at Fulham constitutes a resounding return to form.
Will have to start thinking bigger at some point, and it does look like only the FA Cup can stop this being a disappointing season no matter how much last season is retrospectively reappraised as overachievement on an unrepeatable scale rather than the first step on an inevitable road to world domination.
9) Brentford (14)
The whole tone of the coverage of Ivan Toney’s return was a bit odd, but the importance of it is already clear. They’d won one and lost seven of their last eight league games when he returned, with a proper relegation scrap an unpleasantly real possibility. They’ve won two of four since Toney was welcomed back like a returning hero, with the defeats against Spurs and City both containing encouraging elements. Mainly the confirmed emergence of Neal Maupay as the Premier League’s new unchallenged sh*thouse-in-chief.
That’s enough to lift any fan’s spirits, which might be just as well because the upcoming fixture list looks daunting, with Liverpool, Manchester City and Arsenal all on the calendar before the international break in March.
8) Wolves (7)
They are a very mid-table side with very mid-table results. Eye-catching wins and grating defeats rush together but that’s fine, especially given the chaos engulfing the club at the start of the season. Even by up-and-down mid-table standards, though, winning 4-2 at Chelsea and then immediately losing 2-0 at home to Brentford is a flex. Their next two games are at Tottenham and then at home to Sheffield United, which if nothing else gives them the chance to do something very funny indeed.
7) Luton (8)
You’re always going to find plenty of teams occupying the middle of the Venn Diagram for “Would Definitely Have Taken Current Position At Start Of Season” and “Bit P*ssed Off With It Now”. Nobody currently quite encapsulates that like Luton, who let a potential red-letter day slip from their grasp at the weekend. Their major relegation rivals Burnley, Everton and Nottingham Forest all succumbed to predictable defeats against Liverpool, Manchester City and Newcastle while Luton had a home game against doomed Sheffield United that could have seen them really give the relegation picture a shake. Instead, in an error-strewn performance born perhaps of knowing what a big deal this was, they managed to succumb to their first two-goal home defeat of the entire campaign against its weakest team. Careless and annoying, and if Luton do end up falling back into the Championship it’s a day that will stick out as a bad one.
But again, it’s February and we’re talking about “if” Luton get relegated. That’s a massive win.
6) Brighton (10)
Up and down league results combined with Newcastle and Manchester United getting their respective acts together leave the cups as Brighton’s likeliest route to more new ground this season. Not going to repeat last season’s sixth-placed finish but they’re still in the FA Cup and counting down the days until they can resume their enormously enjoyable maiden European campaign.
Brighton fans know they’re living through their team’s finest era, and that is something that can easily withstand the occasional 4-0 thrashing at Luton. Which was still a bit weird, mind. You know, don’t make a habit of it.
Another issue looming on the horizon is a summer set to be spent trying to fend off interest from multiple potential angles for Roberto De Zerbi. The good news is that Brighton lore tells us they’ll just bring in someone even better anyway.
5) Aston Villa (4)
Have won only once and gone out of the FA Cup since the last update, and have developed a curious and worrying habit of being a little bit ‘Dr Villa’ for any big club in the midst of a crisis. Already this season they’ve lost twice to Newcastle, twice to Manchester United and now been well beaten in the cup by Chelsea. Yet they’ve beaten three of the four teams currently above them in the table.
Urgently need to relocate their league consistency after a run of two wins in seven and a Fulham, Forest, Luton run offers both opportunity and pitfalls ahead of what looks a pretty pivotal meeting with Tottenham. You don’t really want to run the risk of finishing fifth and hoping for the best when it comes to Champions League qualification, but with Villa as with Spurs the very fact that these are the conversations being had is a sign that everything is going pretty decently really. The thing with both their faltering title bids is that they were never really title bids in the first place and if we’re honest we all knew this.
4) Tottenham (3)
Our theory on Tottenham is that there was a slightly complacent – on their part and everyone else’s – assumption that when all their players came back from injury/suspension/AFCON/Asia Cup that it would magically be like the autumn again. But it hasn’t quite worked out that like that. They’ve been a little bit worked out as an attacking team, and look far more predictable and defendable than they did in those early weeks of the season.
That said, results are currently outstripping performances for a team that on the face of it looks enormously susceptible to the opposite and, while it’s going to be another year tacked on to the trophy drought, they are so far ahead of any reasonable pre-season expectation after selling their greatest ever player that any quibbles can really only be minor. Need to work out how to defend corners again, though.
3) Liverpool (2)
The Jurgen Klopp news really was that rarest of things – a proper, massive Premier League bombshell that came completely out of nowhere. It understandably floored Liverpool fans, who suddenly face a great deal of uncertainty after what is without doubt one of the great managerial reigns the Barclays have ever seen. Grumbles about ‘only one title’ will forever bitterly miss the point given just how boring the Premier League title race would have been over the last half-decade without Klopp and his team. The timing of Klopp’s departure is particularly galling because after last season’s (relative) struggles, all signs this season pointed to him starting to build another great team.
Now there is uncertainty all over the shop with the one managerial appointment that would unite the fanbase is a brilliant but young and inexperienced coach. It could go wrong. Also, and Liverpool were a bit lucky this fact got rather lost in all the far more important talk of post-match celebrations, they were really, really sh*t in a very big game at Arsenal. Weird that they’re top of the league and yet nobody really thinks they can actually win it.
READ MORE: Who will replace Jurgen Klopp as next Liverpool manager? Xabi still odds-on
2) Manchester City (1)
Eleven straight wins in all competitions, Kevin De Bruyne and Erling Haaland back in action, one foot in the Champions League quarter-finals and top of the Premier League if they win their game in hand. Arsenal and Liverpool might get all the attention, but it was ever thus. Manchester City remain favourites to retain every individual component of last season’s treble, and they’ve even managed to score a goal at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium.
They drop a place in the moods only because Arsenal are Arsenal and City will never be capable of matching them at their most jubilantly buoyant, but it’s all going absolutely perfectly to plan right now for Pep and the gang.
1) Arsenal (9)
All fanbases exist pretty much exclusively at one end or the other of the We’re F***ed-We’re So Back spectrum, but few are capable of making so many journeys to and fro in so short a space of time as the Gunners. A month ago, their title challenge lay in ruins after defeats to West Ham and Fulham and they’d made an unholy bollocks of an FA Cup tie with Liverpool. Now they’ve dispatched Liverpool, and given West Ham the most fearful spanking for their Emirates impertinence. They. Are. So. Back.
Even the Supercomputer has been won over and we are right again bathing in the warm glow of “Arsenal CAN win the title” content. The fans are in their happiest place of all, which is enjoying watching all manner of joyless pundits and ex-players getting very cross indeed about players celebrating a huge victory which the Liverpool one absolutely was.
It really is a baffling phenomenon, and while it isn’t entirely an Arsenal one there’s no pretending their celebrations don’t come in for closer scrutiny than anyone else’s. Imagine, for instance, the reaction if Arsenal celebrated beating Crystal Palace to move tenth the way Chelsea did on Monday night. But we also think that Arsenal fans wouldn’t have it any other way. Watching how rattled everyone else gets by it is a huge part of the fun, surely.
