Happy Thursday, Hoddlers! I hope you’re having as good a week as Fitzie is while taking a break from having to deliver daily #content.
Let’s play a fun game. I’m calling it “Good News / Bad News.” The rules are pretty easy to understand — I’ll tell you something good that happened, and then I’ll also tell you something related that’s, well, not so great. I have two great examples for you today.
Good News
Arsenal got drummed out of the Champions League yesterday. You probably know this already, very likely watched it happen, but it’s still pretty damn good news. What’s even better is that it came at the hands of Bayern Munich, and its two former Tottenham stars Harry Kane and Eric Dier, both of whom I’m sure had their own personal reason to want bad things to happen to Arsenal beyond merely playing for Bayern Munich. And to add insult to injury, Dier — who was basically run out of North London in January — was named Man of the Match.
Just remember in the biggest game of Arteta’s arsenal career Eric Dier was man of the match
— Billie (@Billie_T) April 17, 2024
Bad News
The flip side of this coin is that Arsenal’s loss, combined with Manchester City falling in a penalty shootout at home to Real Madrid, is pretty catastrophic for the Premier League’s European coefficient, dropping behind Germany. This is important because the league with the higher coefficient will have an extra Champions League qualification slot granted to them at the end of the season — for the Premier League, that would go to the team that finishes fifth, and that team very well could be Tottenham Hotspur. I haven’t fully crunched the numbers, but England went from pretty solid favorites to basically sucking wind in one evening.
Now, it’s not ALL bad news — Tottenham can still qualify for Champions League if they finish in fourth ahead of Aston Villa, something that will be tricky but definitely doable considering Villa has an even scarier league run-in than Tottenham does. And frankly? Even if Spurs don’t qualify for the Champions League, I’m fine with that. It’s a rebuilding year, Europa League is fun, and I’d volunteer Spurs into the Europa CONFERENCE League if the result was Arsenal not winning a major trophy.
See? Wasn’t that fun? Let’s do another one.
Good News
It’s kit release season, and that’s always exciting! Tottenham Hotspur has been the subject of a few leaks over the past two months, including one from just a few days ago that suggested Spurs would have a pretty bog-standard (and by that I mean good) Nike-designed home kit when the club releases them later this spring. Hooray! Nike is finally coming through for us, isn’t it wonderful?
Bad news
[Touches hand to earpiece] …Hold on, we’re getting breaking news now from Footy-Headlines, the gold standard website for kit and boot design leaks.
…Wait, you’re saying… that’s NOT the actual design? What do you mean “inverse blue Arsenal kit?” Well ok, surely it can’t be THAT ba…
OH DEAR GOD KILL IT WITH FIRE BURN IT BURN IT BURN IT
Fuckin’ Nike, man.
Wasn’t that fun? No, wait, what’s the opposite of fun? Anyway, maybe we’ll bring Good News / Bad News back sometime. Until then, this has been your Hoddle. Toodles!
Song of the Day: “Sleeping Volcanoes,” Cass McCombs
And now, here are your links.
Portsmouth are back in the Championship, 14 years after relegation from the Premier League and dropping as far as League Two. Here’s how they did it.
Stoke City Women were shamed into paying for one of their players’ ACL surgeries after she started a GoFundMe to pay for her own medical care.
Brazil great Romario has come out of retirement at age 58 to play for Brazilian team America Football Club alongside his son.
In a pod excerpt on YouTube, The Extra Inch lads discuss whether Spurs need to be more pragmatic in possession.