good morning!
Welcome to another edition of ‘Fitzie’s reviews,’ where your hoddler-in-chief reviews things like television and movies. Not music, though. That’s for the Track of the Day hoddles.
I will admit that all of these programmes were watched from my home cinema (AKA the couch) so some of these productions may not have had as grand an impact on me had I watched them in the actual cinema. Nevertheless, we beat on.
The Bear, Season 3: This is what gives fine dining a bad reputation. Meandering and self-indulgent, the third season of The Bear failed to offer anything of substance. How we went 10 episodes without making any momentum on the previous two seasons is beyond me.
Worst of all – it’s boring.
I struggle to come up with one episode I actually enjoyed. Maybe Napkins or Doors? The fact it’s so hard to remember these is justification enough for low rating.
1.0 out of 5 Fitzies
Emily in Paris, Season 4, Episodes 1-5: Not going to lie, this is my guilty pleasure. I honestly hate-watch this. And boy, do I hate it.
And I hated every single freaking episode of the fourth season. It’s atrocious. All but one of these characters is so bland – Emily most of all. And it’s a true testiment that the show made Paris – one of the most diverse cities in Europe – so homogenous.
The writing is awful. Storyelling is awful. Chemistry between any characters is awful. The only compelling actress here is Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu as Sophie, but that’s not enough to redeem what The New Yorker once credited with the “rise of ambient TV”.
0 out of 5 Fitzies
Only Murders In the Building, Season 4, Episode 1: The gang is back for its darkest season yet. My biggest gripe with Season 3 was that it took too long to actually get to the murder mystery. The writers, one episode in, appear to have learned from that mistake. What we are left with is the series’ most chilling episode yet. Cannot wait for the rest.
I also cannot get enough of the main cast – Steve Martin, Martin Short and Selena Gomez. Celebrity appearances like Meryl Streep and Eugene Levy always make me nervous, but this show has pulled it off so far.
5 out of 5 Fitzies
Kingdom 1-3: I didn’t realise this was based off a manga/anime. Some website just recommended I watch it. And I think it’s a great movie franchise. Rather straightforward if at a little times a bit cartoonish (but hey, it’s based off a cartoon). The fourth film came out in Asian cinemas a couple months ago, so I’m looking forward to its Netflix arrival.
3.5 out of 5 Fitzies
Taskmaster, Series 4, 5, 7, 12, 13, 15, 16, 17: My latest obsession. I even wrote a hoddle about it. I just finished series 12, which had one of the best studio task ever.
The tasks are always fresh, the contestants are hilarious, and of course the banter between Greg Davies and Alex Horne is top notch. I can’t wait to watch all the others (plus the Champion of Champions).
My favourite, though, has to be Series 7 with the anarchic James Acaster stealing just about every scene, with the insider knowledge of Rhod Gilbert undermining Davies’ authority. Plus the distraction that is Phil Wang and two hilarious competitors in Jessica Knappet and Kerry Godliman.
5 out of 5 Fitzies
Mario: The only football-related programme here. Mario is a film about two male footballers who fall in love with each other, but of course it leads to tension in their personal and professional lives.
A pretty decent film overall I think. Would say one of my gripes is we aren’t really introduced to the ‘antagonist’ here. Sure there are 11+ footballers on a team, but we only meet two. So when drama unfolds in the dressing room, it’s a bit difficult to get there emotionally.
The resolution is a bit drawn out too, but I still enjoyed it.
3 out of 5 Fitzies
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent: What an insane film, starring Nicholas Cage as himself. He’s befriended some nefarious Spaniard/Catalonian played by Pedro Pascal, who matches and at times even surpasses Cage’s absurdity.
A true spectacle that I did not want to end. This instantly became one of my favourite Nic Cage films, and I’ll be watching it again and again.
5 out of 5 Fitzies
Fitzie’s track of the day: Save Me A Place, by Fleetwood Mac
And now for your links:
Alasdair Gold on the latest with Tottenham’s loanees
The Athletic ($$) ranks every Premier League’s clubs transfer window
Blackpool appoint Steve Bruce as head coach
Leicester City win appeal over alleged breach of Premier League PSR
