Chelsea players just merrily went on their pre-arranged Christmas party and may or may not have had some expensive caviar…
Chelsea daggers
Tis the season to be jolly weird about footballers going out and doing normal things despite having lost some games of football.
Because of course such normal things like shopping, eating meals and having Christmas parties should be cancelled when a group of footballers kick the ball fewer times into a net than another group of footballers.
Chelsea players had Christmas night out hours after Everton defeat
The f***ers.
The Daily Telegraph have an exclusive and they are not afraid to use/milk it.
It seems that Chelsea had organised a Christmas night out after the Everton game as they did not have a game for six days (before five games in two weeks) and they went right ahead and did it ‘hours’ after they had lost that game of football. What were they thinking?
So presumably this is a story because boss Mauricio Pochettino disapproved?
Head coach Mauricio Pochettino had given his blessing for the evening and did not feel the need to cancel it in the aftermath of another disappointing result.
Oh. So a group of adults planned a Christmas gathering with the approval of their manager and this is ‘news’? Did they misbehave?
James had gained approval from Pochettino and the club for the evening ahead of Chelsea’s trip to Goodison Park, originally pencilling it in as a Christmas event.
But the nature of the evening changed into a much-needed bonding session following the defeat after James had checked it could still go ahead.
This is amazing. When does a ‘Christmas event’ become a ‘bonding session’? Were paper hats abandoned? Was Mariah Carey switched off? Did they pass around a talking stick instead of a Christmas cracker?
What’s clearly happened here is that the Telegraph have been told it was a party, checked with their sources, and were told that a ‘Christmas party’ would be a PR misstep but a ‘bonding session’ would be fine. One is a celebration and the other is a sensible reaction to poor results.
And then the Telegraph headline trumpeted a ‘Christmas night out’ in their headline anyway.
They were careful not to use the word ‘party’ but there was no such control when the story was inevitably chopped and shopped elsewhere.
Here comes The Sun, who make it the top story on their football website on Tuesday morning:
Chelsea flops enjoyed Christmas party hours after Everton humiliation in posh Mayfair restaurant and nightclub
Now they’re ‘flops’ who had a party hours after an ‘Everton humiliation’ and somebody has been Googling the restaurant and found it to be ‘posh’. It gets worse.
CHELSEA players still went ahead with their Christmas party on Sunday despite it coming just hours after their defeat to Everton.
‘Just hours’!
So presumably what Chelsea should have done is arrange a Christmas party and book a table at a restaurant but then cancel when it became clear that the day had not been a success.
Presumably The Sun football Christmas party only goes ahead if a certain page views target is met.
But never mind that, HOW MUCH DID THEY SPEND?
Bagatelle is one of Mayfair’s most expensive restaurants where a pasta dish will set you back £48.
A salad will cost as much as £25 and the menu even has its own section for caviar.
Chelsea players could commiserate their result with 125 grams of Kristal caviar for £720.
Or if they preferred the cheaper option, they could opt for Beluga for £420.
Oh dear. Any fool knows that Beluga is more expensive than Kristal; the 125 grams of Beluga will actually set you back £2420. But reading a menu is hella tricky.
Any indication that the Chelsea players actually ate caviar? Nope. But they could have done…just hours after their defeat to Everton.
And here’s the MailOnline take:
REVEALED: Chelsea flops headed to a Mayfair party restaurant and nightclub, straight from their Everton humiliation, with Mauricio Pochettino allowing captain Reece James to lead ‘team bonding’
Not even ‘hours’ now, they went ‘straight from their Everton humiliation’, almost like they didn’t care. The absolute b***ards.
On Twitter, they bring out the CAPITALS:
Chelsea ‘held a Christmas night out HOURS after 2-0 defeat to Everton’ – it’s not a good look 😨 https://t.co/GTbONHiDSy
— Mail Sport (@MailSport) December 12, 2023
And they have thrown in a random picture of a nightclub from Instagram because otherwise how would you know what a nightclub looks like?
They’re right to say ‘it’s not a good look’…for somebody.
READ: Chelsea were Arsenal in December 2021: Boehly’s £1bn f*** up and how *anyone* could do better
Giddy skipper
Over at the Mirror website, they are not jumping on the Chelsea Christmas party/bonding session bandwagon, and are instead focusing on the big news:
Ferdinand tells Ten Hag who should replace Fernandes as Man Utd captain with petulant actions leaving Red Devils in need of new skipper
Technically, Ferdinand told Talksport that he ‘doesn’t know’ who will be Manchester United captain on Sunday v Liverpool.
Because, despite the headline, there is no suggestion at all that Fernandes will be ‘replaced’ or that Manchester United need a ‘new skipper’, simply that they will need a captain for the one game for which he is suspended.
But we were the idiots who clicked.