For years he was known as the Made In Chelsea ‘bad boy’ partying to excess in high-end nightclubs.
But Spencer Matthews has revealed it was the anger he was harbouring about losing his brother at the age of ten that drove him to start abusing alcohol at a young age.
In an emotional interview on the Mail’s brand new Everything I Know About Me podcast, the star said he rejects the term ‘childhood trauma’ and therapy he sought after his sibling disappeared descending Mount Everest 25 years ago made him feel ‘uncomfortable’.
Matthews, 35, whose elder brother James is married to Pippa Middleton, said: ‘I harboured a lot of anger for many years and terribly ill feelings for the people who I believed had made mistakes that led to my brother’s death.
‘That’s how I felt growing up and I would get drunk and I would talk about it and blow off steam by getting really angry about it from time to time.
Spencer Matthews has revealed the ‘anger’ he felt over his brother Michael’s death on Everest and how it led to alcohol problems when he was ‘very young’
In an emotional interview on the Mail’s brand new Everything I Know About Me podcast, the star said he rejects the term ‘childhood trauma’ and therapy he sought after his sibling disappeared descending Mount Everest 15 years ago made him feel ‘uncomfortable’
‘It was a really strange time in my life that I drank to excess, often at a very young age.’
Matthews, who is married to Irish influencer Vogue Williams, stayed on Made in Chelsea for ten seasons from 2011 to 2015 before seeking therapy for his alcoholism in 2018 and the father-of-three has been teetotal since.
Reflecting on his therapy during the podcast, he said: ‘I have sought help for my alcoholism and what keeps coming back is this trauma suffered as a child.
‘I don’t like this idea that something happened to me and therefore I became a certain way.
‘I’ve always been uncomfortable when I’ve had therapy and I’m asked what were your parents like? And I’m like, my parents are great, leave them alone.
He continued: ‘I hate placing blame on circumstances outside of my control for my alcohol abuse. I’ve always been uncomfortable with that. My decision to abuse alcohol for many years was my decision and I was conscious at the time of doing it.’
Matthews’ older brother Michael became the youngest Briton to conquer Mount Everest in 1999 at the age of 23 but fell to his death while descending alone in a 100mph blizzard.
His father David Matthews’ attempt to bring a case of manslaughter against three Everest guides for negligence on the mountain was rejected in 2006.
Matthews’ older brother Michael became the youngest Briton to conquer Mount Everest in 1999 at the age of 23 but fell to his death while descending alone in a 100mph blizzard.
Spencer shares children Theodore, five, Gigi, three and 18-month old Otto with Vogue Williams. Spencer last year fronted Finding Michael, a documentary about his brother’s ill-fated trip
Spencer last year fronted Finding Michael, a documentary about his brother’s ill-fated trip.
He said: ‘I can tell you how it made me feel, I grew up believing throughout all my teenage years that Mike had been killed by somebody making mistakes.
‘These particular people have made mistakes that led to my brother’s death.’
Matthews shares children Theodore, five, Gigi, three and 18-month old Otto with Ms Williams.
The Mail’s newest podcast, Everything I Know About Me, explores the lives of some of our most fascinating public figures, the highs, the lows and the in between told in their own words.
