Did you know that the stabilisers on cruise ships reduce rocking by 80 percent during storms? Neither did I until a lunchtime lecture from first office Luka as we sailed across the Tasman Sea, destination Sydney, whilst Ex-Tropical Cyclone Kirrily did its thing.
When Luka gave his talk, there were little over 12 hours to go until Brighton kicked off against Crystal Palace at the Amex.
I was left hoping the Albion had fitted their own cruise ship stabilisers to ensure a much smoother performance than the one we saw in losing 4-0 at Luton Town on Tuesday night.
And that they certainly did. A famous 4-1 victory for Brighton lifted the mood onboard as the wind and waves continued to cause havoc, meaning all upper decks were closed, sunbeds stowed and people were hanging on for grim death.
I had to succumb to wear my sea sickness wristbands, which it turns out really do work. Either that or Seagulls beating Eagles is a newly discovered cure for sea sickness.
With phone charged and earbuds ready, I went to sleep at around 9pm in preparation to wake up for the game getting underway at 4am local time.
Sleeping through the FA Cup win at Sheffield United was one thing. There was no way I could miss Brighton versus Palace. And I didn’t.
As luck would have it, I naturally six hours later at 3pm, all ready to tune into the Albion Live Commentary via the ship’s wi-fi.
It was a weird feeling, laying in bed in the pitch black whilst the ship rocked and the sea thudded against the side accompanied by the sounds of home from the American Express Stadium.
Johnny Cantor ran through the teams and Warren Aspinall told us that referee Simon Hooper was looking a little puffed out from his warm up.
At least I think that is what Warren said. Or maybe puffed up? Or something ruder? It was a little hard to tell from the other side of the world.
There was also talk about how the last few days had been a little downbeat, including in the way Roberto De Zerbi handled the media at his press conference.
Speculation suggested the wheels were coming off for the Albion with De Zerbi unhappy about the January transfer window and the defeat at Luton.
Wrong! It turned out losing to Luton was both a blip and more a sign the Hatters are getting better. They nearly beat Newcastle United on Saturday, suggesting other Premier League sides will struggle at Kenilworth Road over the rest of the season.
Something I have noticed whilst listening to BBC Radio Sussex whilst down under is the way Johnny and Warren never speak through Sussex by the Sea being played at the Amex.
Hearing our anthem from 15,000 miles away tears at the heartstrings and, just for a moment, connects Albion fans around the world with back home. Brighton supporters could be heard singing along, loud proud.
The prospects of drifting back to sleep between the crispy white linen sheets of the ship if the game was slow to get going were out the window after less than three minutes.
Pascal Gross took a corner and up went Lewis Dunk, directing a header which flew straight in at the far post. No chance of jumping around in joy, so instead I celebrated with a wonderfully soft pillow.
What a feeling it must have been for all you at the Amex, and for Dunk scoring right in front of the Palace fans. The noise that greeted the goal sounded like the roof had come off the stadium.
The game settled a little after that but still I did not drop off, which was just as well because two quickfire goals were to come.
It is great to have young Tariq Lamptey back, bringing pace down the left side. He crossed a ball perfectly for Jack Hinshelwood to place a header back across goal and inside the left hand post.
Brighton 2-0 Palace on 33 minutes became Brighton 3-0 Palace on 34 minutes. No sooner had the Eagles kicked off still seemingly licking their wounds did the Albion win back possession, pushing forward with real purpose.
Gross again played the killer ball, into Facundo Buonanotte who let a shot go from distance straight into the top corner of the Palace goal.
Watching back the highlights and you could see just how much it meant to De Zerbi as he ran around and then jumped into the crowd to celebrate their excitement.
The passion of De Zerbi is inspiring. Roy Hodgson in contrast looked flabbergasted. He must have worried how much further Brighton were going to go.
That was one of the questions on my mind, of course alongside would we end up collapsing? No chance of that as the Albion continued to outplay and outclass their rivals.
I often wonder what De Zerbi says to his players on the occasions they come in at half time losing. This time, I thought how great it would have been to see a comparison between De Zerbi’s team talk against Palace after 45 minutes and the one he gave at Luton. One can only imagine!
Most Brighton fans were probably hoping the Albion would come out all guns blazing and score four, five, six, seven. That did not happen as Brighton appeared to take things easier, perhaps wisely; there is a lot of football to come after all and tougher tests than Palace.
Jean-Philippe Mateta gave the Eagles a lifeline when beating Bart Verbruggen with a header from a Joachim Anderson cross. Would that single a change in the tide?
No. It simply served to stir Brighton back into life. A break down the right saw the ball played in Danny Welbeck, who flicked into the path of the on running Joao Pedro.
Pedro made no mistake, poking past Dean Henderson to put the three points in the bag. Just to make sure nobody had lost count of the score, Pedro counted out the four goals on his fingers.
Each Albion goal seemed to be greeted with even more noise – and it was not just at the Amex where Brighton thrashing Palace 4-1 was felt. People this side of the world wants to talk about it and the Seagulls too.
On board the ship, an Australian chap spotted by Albion baseball cap and started chatting. His son was a good friend of Maty Ryan and Aaron Mooy, who had arranged for him to watch a Brighton game from a box at the Amex when they both played for the club. Lucky guy.
And since returning to dry land in Sydney, I met a lady when catching a fast ferry to Manly Harbour. She revealed she was a Luton fan, of all teams! The less said about our game against them the better.
Then whilst watching my wife climb the Sydney Harbour Bridge, another couple came up. “Blimey, the Seagulls get everywhere,” the man said in reference to my Brighton shirt.
He only a Spurs supporter, so I apologised in advance for his upcoming loss at the weekend to those Seagulls who get everywhere.
Tony Noble @Noble1844Tony
Seagulls Best Ever Season Volume 2 charts Brighton’s record breaking 2022-23 campaign through the eyes of Tony Noble, an East Stand Upper season ticket holder at the American Express Stadium. It is available from Waterstones, WHSmith, Amazon Bookstore and all good bookshops as well as the Albion Superstore at the Amex and via this link.
